I once had a conversation with a very frustrated, disappointed and unhappy chap on his 6th divorce. He was, as you might imagine, very down on women and on marriage. I did not improve his mood by suggesting that luck of the draw might deliver one, two, maybe even three insane and evil witches – but six?

It had not occurred to him that he was the common denominator. Same thing is true of the person whose every business relationship, strategic alliance or joint venture, fails or ‘goes south’.

Or the sales person who finds himself engaged in the bloody battle with unreasonably cheap customers, time and time and time again.

Or the employee who goes from job to job to job, at each one finding a dumb boss and nasty back-biting co-workers.

Of course, you can’t assume that all trouble is of your making. Because it isn’t. The world is full of morons, sloths and evil-doers.

But if you smartly de-personalise situations and defect a pattern of unsatisfactory outcomes, you should stop and question your modus operandi.

Not your self-worth, you’re not a bad person – but your strategy. Let’s assume you determine, grudgingly, that you – i.e. your methodology – is the common denominator in a Groundhog Day-esque series of repetitive nightmares, and, for whatever reason or excuse you are unwilling to change your behaviour. At that point, you need to fire yourself from that position, and either get somebody in there who can do that job well, or find a way to be free of it altogether.

I’ve done both; altered behaviour in some situations and in others determined that I would not alter behaviour, and fired myself. Most people do neither, and, instead, just continue the same mess-making, the same misery and, surprise surprise, the get the same results. Every time.

I was reminded of this recently when I discovered something called Wisdom After Five Chapters:

Chapter 1: I walk down a street and fall into a hole.

Chapter 2: I walk down the same street, fall in the same hole and am surprised and pissed off at the hole.

Chapter 3: I walk down the same street and try to speed up and jump over the hole but I fall in anyway, and now I am really, really pissed off at the hole.

Chapter 4: I carry ropes, a ladder, a torch with me, walk down the same street, fall into the same hole but get out – I’m filth, have a sprained ankle, am late getting where I was going and I’m still pissed off at the hole.

Chapter 5: I walk down a different street.

If you’re getting the same unsatisfactory results time after time, then now might be a good time to take a long close look at…YOU!

It might not be pleasant but we do have control over our own strategies (the things we do), our own strategic thinking, our own behaviour, AND changes we make to it

Final thought on this one: would you rather be right or rich?

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